DVD review
Directed by Kurt Wimmer
Starring Milla Jovovich, Cameron Bright, Nick Chinlund, William Fichtner
Release date Out now

Future vampire “Hemophage” Violet (Milla Jovovich) is on a quest to protect a boy-cum-weapon-cum-cure-for- vampirism…

You know you’re in trouble when the only commentary on offer is from Milla Jovovich. Not that she doesn’t have a decent stab at it, but a film with such a “distinctive” style surely warranted a yack track from Equilibrium writer/director Kurt Wimmer? Or had he realised what a sub-videogame pile of hooey he was responsible for?

This DVD comes with your standard hour-or-so of making of featurettes, but it’s always taxing watching people working hard on effects that never convince in the final film – Ultraviolet is blighted by the same soft edges and composite auras as Sky Captain was, but at least that had a noble aesthetic.

This wants to be a pumped-up Japanimation Matrix clone but ends up coming off worse than most of that trilogy’s videogames. It’s frenetic and action-packed to be sure, but any film that makes the tedious Aeon Flux look like 2001 has clearly lost all grip on reality.

Everything feels hollow and forced, performances are robotic (except William Fichtner, who is better than this crap), and in the end you’ll be lucky if you don’t open the DVD drawer and hurl the disc out of the window in disgust. Richard Matthews

VERDICT: 1/10
Ultraboring. Ultrabollocks. Ultracrap.