BloodRayne

DVD review (region 2)
Directed by Uwe Boll
Starring Kristanna Loken, Michelle Rodriguez, Michael Madsen, Matt Davis, Ben Kingsley
Release date 12 May 2008

The half-human half-vampire Rayne (Loken) teams up with a gang of vampire slayers to defeat the dastardly Kagan (Kingsley) …

You know you’re in trouble when the best performance in a movie comes from Billy Zane. His wisecracking vampire prince only pops up in two brief scenes (one of which, Uwe Boll admits on the commentary, was filmed several months after principal shooting because he realised the plot made no sense), but the actor manages to inject a smidgen of wit sorely lacking elsewhere.

Kristanna Loken earned herself a Golden Raspberry nomination for her portrayal of the titular high-kicking Dhampir (that’s a human-vampire hybrid to you and me), but at least she looks fetching in leather and has a certain spiky energy to her. The same can’t be said about Ben Kingsley, who spends most of the movie plonked on a chair looking ill before partaking in a pathetic fight against Rayne at the end. Viewers are also treated to the embarrassing spectacle of a campy Meat Loaf lounging around with a bevy of naked beauties, and a lank-haired Michael Madsen giving possibly the worst performance of his career (though with the likes of Croc and Afghan Knights on his CV, it’s a close-run thing).

To be fair, it’s doubtful any of the players could have done much with the nonsensical plot (something to do with a battle over an eye and heart that makes vampires invincible) or the hilariously po-faced script. Boll is certainly a tenacious fellow – despite the critical mauling and commercial failure of the movie, he went ahead and shot a sequel anyway.

Loken and Boll crop up on the DVD commentary and are reasonably candid about some of the problems endured on the Romania-based shoot – which apparently included bad food, bad hotels, a lack of decent local actors and Michael Madsen getting in a huff. Matt McAllister

VERDICT: 3/10
Bloodrayne isn’t quite as bad as its reputation would suggest – but it’s close.