DVD review (region 1)
Directed by Gregg Simon
Starring Mark Hengst, Kit Paquin, Makinna Ridgway, Penny Drake
Release date Out now

A new Hungarian cook (Hengst) starts work at a sorority house. The sex-craved girls think he’s kind of cute – it’s just a pity he also happens to be a serial killer…

Full marks to the marketing gurus behind this DVD release. “A nightmare of graphic slaughter, involuntary cannibalism and helpings of gourmet nudity…” screams the blurb, while the cover treats you to a colourful close-up of a woman’s chest. If you happen to be a horny 15-year-old boy then The Cook sounds like the perfect film.

Inevitably, the movie itself doesn’t deliver anywhere near this level of sex or gore, but at least it doesn’t entirely cop out. After a first half which sets up its dirty-talking bad girls (we know they’re bad girls because they say things like “I love smoking weed!” and “I love to f*** guys!”), the second half offers a scattering of gratuitous nudity and a few reasonably gory kills. Still, it’s mostly harmless stuff.

It’s a low budget affair, and an early scene in which one of the gals becomes confused over ‘Hungary’ and ‘hungry’ sets the level of comic ambition. But despite being entirely devoid of laughs or thrills, The Cook is rendered strangely watchable thanks to a wildly over-the-top turn from Hengst in the title role (who is vaguely reminiscent of an early perma-gurning Jim Carrey) and Gregg Simon’s surprisingly stylish direction.

The Cook isn’t exactly a movie that benefits from behind-the-scenes insight but, should you care, the DVD includes a commentary and ‘Making of’ featurette. Matt McAllister

VERDICT: 4/10
Strictly for excitable teenagers who can’t get their paws on a Porky’s movie.